"Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile...would thou wert clean enough to spit upon... [you] foul and pestilent congregation of vapours! [I have] no more faith in [your insurance] than in a stewed prune...thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!"

- Shakespeare clearly commenting on UPS' customer service and insurance practices; at least, I assume so.